Yes, it's back to the wall today. Changed meds a few weeks ago, and yesterday had them reduced slightly. Great, you might say. Less drugs has to be better, right? Well, tonight I'm wound up like a clock spring, tight and tense. Everything aggravates me.
Is it the meds, or am I just losing my grip? Or am I just pandering to my weaknesses?
Who knows... not even the Wonder Woman doc here does.... I'm of a mind to get shot of the bloody things altogether and go back to the good old days when I was occasionally suicidal, but WRITING! I don't wish to be as calm as a cabbage or as level as a lemon. I have no libido, no attention span, I'm always tired and have no desire for anything at all except quietness and space. A lot of space...
I'd rather have a shorter and more fulfilling existence than a lovely long life with lashings of lalalalalala.
I'll think on that. Meantime, I'll have another double rum.... just in case.
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